


The Price For Victory

by antanddec_fanforever



Series: Brittle Bones [9]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Destroy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Hope, Hopeful Ending, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Pain, Post-Mass Effect 3, Survival, Survivor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-19 06:30:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22706575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antanddec_fanforever/pseuds/antanddec_fanforever
Relationships: Jeff "Joker" Moreau/Male Shepard
Series: Brittle Bones [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692271
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	The Price For Victory

He didn't know how he got there, all he knew was that there was a annoying voice telling him to get up. To which he ignored until his vision cleared and he could see a ghasty shape of a boy. 

As he stood the boy spoke, spoken of the three choices he had to choose from. 

Destroy, Control or Synthesis. 

The boy continued on about how each choice would affect the galaxy differently, that certain things would be sacrificed for the greater good. 

He didn't know what his choice would be. But he knew he had to choose, if he didn't he knew everyone that rallied behind him would die.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

It was happening again, Shepard sacrificing himself to save the galaxy yet again from the reaper threat. 

He fought to keep the ship stable, to keep her from taking any hits from one of the many reaper beams. He wouldn't leave Shepard, not this time. Not with the weight on his shoulders from him dying because of him once before. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Destroy, Control, Synthesis 

He ran the choices through his mind again, being unable to decide which to choose.

If he chose Control, he would become the new reaper AI, but who was to say he wouldn't become corrupt and start the cycle again? 

If he chose Synthesis he would be forcing everyone in the galaxy to accept the new DNA from his choice. 

If he chose Destroy the Geth along with EDI would be destroyed for the greater good, the reapers would be gone and the galaxy at peace.

The more he thought about it the more he leaned towards Destroy, the thing he had set out to do since the beginning. Since Sovereign was discovered as a reaper. 

His mind was made up as he approached the Destroy console, as he approached the star child disappeared from view and he raised his Carnifex as he opened fire with the weapon. 

As he fired, his mind would start to flash with the faces so dear to him, the first being Anderson. The father figure he didn't have as a kid growing up in space. 

The next he should have expected. His mind flashed with imagines of him and Jeff, he should have been prepared for that. He wasn't though. He didn't expect it, of all things. 

But he was doing this for him, to make sure he has a better life. So even as his vision blurred, he kept firing and moving forward till he felt the explosion consume around him in a wave of heat. 

“I love you”

Was all he said with his supposed last breath. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

The fact that the crucible was armed told him something he didn't want to believe, told him that Shepard probably didn't survive and that they needed to get out of there. But he didn't want to. He couldn't leave. He had to save him this time.

“All ships, disengage and fall back to the rendezvous point” 

As Hackettstown orders came through on the comm channel he felt tears start to blur his vision, which he wiped away with his arms angrily.

“I repeat, disengage and get the hell out of here” 

NO! DAMN IT NO! I CAN'T LEAVE HIM! 

He didn't want to go, not know. Not when there was a chance he could still be alive, still there waiting for someone to save him from whatever he was going through

While fighting with the ship he felt a arm on his shoulder, but he twisted his arm and shoved the arm away. Trying to ignore what Kaidan had to say but knew he couldn't. 

“Fuck off”

He muttered as he concentrated on keeping the ship in the air

“Look.. I know.. but we have to..” 

“No! I can't still save him!

He knew he was right, but he didn't want to leave. The man helped make his life a little brighter, make it so he was much more happy and less stressed then what he was. But he had Shepards friends and family onboard, he knew he wouldn't want them to be in danger, even if it meant he died again.

“Damn it” 

Was all he could manage as he turned the ship around and headed straight for the mass relay, jumping away just as the crucible fires off a red beam. 

He could see the beam closing in, he fought tooth and nail to save the ship in hopes of saving everyone else on board, but despite his best efforts the ship crashed on an unknown planet anyways. 

Sometime after noon the airlock on the smoking Normandy would open and Joker would stare out at the bright sun, averting his eyes for a few moments as his eyes adjusted. 

Once they adjusted he would take a few shaky steps out of the airlock but stopped and leaned against the hull to help himself slide down before his legs give out from under him. 

“Shepard…” 

Was all he could muster to say as he sat there with his arms wrapped around his legs and his head resting on his knees as he stared out at the sunlight in silence. 

The beauty seemed like a insult to him, the fact that he would get to see this and Shepard didn't made him feel worse. 

When he heard a noise come from the airlock he looks up as Garrus exits and looks around like he did, his eyes weary. 

“Joker? Where are you at? Joker?” 

He realized he didn't see him sitting against the hull so he slowly stood up, leaning heavily against the hull to support him and waved him over when he saw him

“What is it?” 

When he approached he saw he had something in his hand, a data pad that survived the crash and he frowned when he gave it to him in silence. 

As he took it he noticed it required a passcode, a passcode he remembered Shepard giving to him. 

What could it….?

As he entered it, the datapad unlocked and one thing came up, one thing with a title. The title was very confusing to him, he didn't know what it meant but what was written in the first few lines of it froze his heart over with pain.

“Jeff, 

If you are receiving this then I am likely dead, I am sorry for not being there for you at the end of this. You know i would have gave my life to save you again and i likely have been put into that situation, I more than likely had to make a big decision that required the sacrifice of my life. 

But I know this war has been hard on you. Especially with the possible loss of your family. Since I noticed your pain, even if you hide it behind sarcastic and witty remarks. I had something delivered to our cabin, the cabin that's now yours. It's hidden well and requires a passcode. One of the passcodes I gave you long ago. I think you'll enjoy it, no I know you'll enjoy it. 

I love you Jeff Moreau and i always will be with you, even if I'm not in physical form. I'll always be in your heart, and you’re memories I know it. .

Live long and take care of yourself my love.

His head started to spin, he had to read it a few times before it finally clicked. That John was gone, he wasn't coming back and there was nothing he could do to fix it or bring him back.

“Joker? Are you.. uh alright?”

“No I'm not Garrus, but thanks for asking” 

Before he could reply, he pushed himself off the wall shaky and headed inside the ship. As he entered the cabin he looked around slowly and noticed something so obvious, yet something he wouldn't see if he wasn't looking. 

As he approached it, his emotions were a mess of pain, anger, depression and his body was numb. 

As he arrived in front of the part of the wall, a panel came out with a keyboard and he entered the password, while his hands were shaking badly and his vision blurred with the tears he had been holding back in front of everyone else. 

As the password was entered the section of the wall shifted and started to change shape until a small storage space was revealed, with things he thought he had lost or been destroyed. 

He found his old hat he had on the Normandy SR1, photos of his family, of him and Shepard, along with a few trinkets that the two had collected over the years with each other. But the most surprising thing was another data pad that was in front of everything. 

“Another one?.. what could it be?” 

As he opened it, he could tell this one was different. There was a play icon in the middle of the screen. Something he didn't expect at all, so when he pressed the play button he was surprised to see Shepards face appear at a strange angle to which he recognized to be his computer desk. 

“Jeff, good you've found this. If you are seeing this you know I'm surely dead. If the message I left with Garrus didn't confirm that this will. 

I have many things I need to tell you but little time.. so I'll start at the beginning. 

Since we left Earth, I've been seeing things. The future and many upcoming battles, I don't know which are real or not. 

I saw many things, one of them being multiple deaths of millions of people and planets falling and lots of combat.. but one thing shook me the most. The one thing I couldn't bear to watch

You want to know what that thing was? You. You dying in my arms and there was not a damn thing I could do about it, all I could do was sit and watch as you died.. 

The one thing I feared I saw and it freaked me out. The future didn't look great.. so I have tried to prevent what I could based off my knowledge.

This is only one of 10 data pads scattered around the ship in areas similar to this, it will have other things in it as well and the messages will explain more.

Goodbye my love

John Shepard signing off”

After the video snapped off he slowly sit the data pad back inside the compartment and went over to the couch, sitting down and letting out all the pain, anger and everything else he felt into the fabric of the couch. 

After awhile his crying turned it sobs and even then that was turned into hiccups until.hi throat was raw, his body so numb he couldn't move and his heart feeling like it got ripped out of his chest and stomped into a million pieces. 

His omni tool went off all of a sudden and he sits up, rubbing the tears out of his eyes and off his face as he answers the call. 

“Yes?”

“Jeff? Could you come down to the crew deck? We got something we need to do, with your help”

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and stood up, grabbing his hat and heading for the door as he answered Liara

“I'll be there shortly” 

On the crew deck he finds everyone standing in front of the elevator as he steps off and he looks around for Liara, who's standing near the end when she notices him and waves him over

“What's going on?”

She doesn't say anything and simply gives him a long blue metal sign to him, which he turned over and froze in place. It had a name on it, it had Shepards name on it and his rank. 

“Wh... What Is this?”

“I think you know”

He knew, but didn't know. His heart didn't want to do it. But regardless his eyes shift to the memorial wall and his heart sank as he realized what It was for and where it was to be placed. 

The silence that came made it hard for everyone to stand there, especially Joker as he stood directly in front of the wall. 

His head was hung as he stared down at the name. “Goodbye Shepard..” and with tears in his eyes, Jeff hung up Shepards name with the rest of the Fallen. A legacy.. To be remembered.


End file.
